Yesterday was the second biggest day of the pregnancy. We found out that we are having a girl. She looked great and healthy and she kept kicking around. It was amazing to see her move on the screen and feel her move against the ultrasound scanner at the same time.
I was hoping for a girl; however, the night before the ultrasound as I was watching Saku play, I thought to myself that another little boy would be just as perfect. After the ultrasound, I asked Troy if it was selfish of me to hope for a girl and would a little brother be better for Saku. Now I as I type this, I realize that if a little brother would have been "better"
for our family, we would have another boy since Heavenly Father has a plan for our family.
I have to confess that I am a lot more worried about gaining weight this time around. At 21 weeks, I have gained 11 lbs. I really shouldn't be so concerned about it since I was able to lose all the baby weight from Saku; though it didn't just come off on its own and I worked hard for it. On most days, I'm running 1-2 miles, which is so much more than what I did with my first pregnancy. I've had to stop few times while running because my belly gets too tight, so I am not sure how much longer I can keep it up. I really wish that sometimes I could worry less about my weight. I know Troy doesn't care about it and I know it's supposed to happen, but it still doesn't make it any easier...
Before I got pregnant with baby girl, I lost 7 pounds. I wasn't trying to lose weight, but somehow I just lost it. I know that it sounds lame and if someone would tell me that, I would probably feel little annoyed, OK a lot annoyed. I wasn't in a great shape; I was just skinny if that makes sense. A friend of mine asked me if I was sad to be pregnant and know that I will gain weight when I was so skinny at the time. I honestly responded that I wasn't, but I have to say that as the numbers get bigger on the scale, I do start envying the women around me with their slim figures and ability to work out to their hearts' content. I am incredible grateful for this pregnancy and this baby, but 40 weeks is a long time get bigger and bigger. And the first few months of postpartum are rough when you just feel so cushy even though the weight starts coming off. Today I bought a size 2 skirt from Gap as my" incentive skirt"to get back in shape after the baby comes. I was also shopping for our baby girl and I am not convinced (yet) that shopping for a girl is more fun. I just ended up buying a cute pair of pjs for both kids. Maybe I will change my mind.
Troy and I did a media fast this past week. No TV, no reading blogs, no facebook (except to post the news). Our local church leaders encouraged us to spend our time doing other things. While I don't spend hours on the computer, I check blogs and facebook frequently to see what's going on. While I miss reading blogs and seeing facebook updates, it has been a good experience to stay away from them for few days.
I noticed that Saku had less temper tantrums because I was more focused on him rather than checking something on the computer. I finished a book. I baked cinnamon rolls. I wrote more meaningful emails to my family. I had a sense of "freedom" when I wasn't constantly trying to keep up with the world, but rather I focused on myself and my family more.
It is Troy's 30th birthday today. I am proud of him. He might feel little old since turning 30 can be a big deal, but I am amazed what a great man he is. How did I get so lucky to find a man who fits and understands me so well? I know he is the one who deserves presents today, but he is the biggest blessing in my life.
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